its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
