Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
