I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
