Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
