OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
