a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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