these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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