In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
