after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
