then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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