I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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