Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
These tits shall not be calmed
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
