Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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