yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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