I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
stop calling my apartment porn island.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
