What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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