Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
