the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
