I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
