Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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