i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
