you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
