FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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