idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I need a beard to bite.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
