Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
