I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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