Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
