he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
