I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
