dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
