so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
