It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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