Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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