awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
