i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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