OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
