I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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