the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
