Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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