i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
