so that wasnt chicken after all
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
