oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
