so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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