I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
