Can i not drive my cunt home
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
