i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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