My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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