I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
