Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The air was thick with penises
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
