Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
