If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
